alternativewriting | (no subject)

Entry tags:

alec,
andrew ryan

(no subject)

Who Alec and Andrew
What Andrew gets to deal with Alec who just got really badly dump. DAD STUFFS OH NOES.
Warnings Not likely

Overall, it had been a bad night.

For several months now Alec had been fairly steadily dating this guy, Kevin. He'd gone over to Kevin's place last night so they could go to a movie or something, just generally hang out. When he'd knocked on the door Kevin's mom answered it.

She told him in no uncertain terms that she wasn't allowing Kevin to see Alec any more because Alec was making Kevin sad. Apparently Alec's tendency to flirt with people upset Kevin but instead of bringing it up to Alec, he'd told his mom... and now she was telling him.

Before Alec could even get a word in edgewise, she'd slammed the door in his face.

Alec had not gone out for a drink but instead spent the night wandering about and in the morning did not show up for work even though he'd been consistently being punctual for the past three weeks. (He didn't want to reflect badly on Andrew after all...)

Instead he was sitting on the back of a park bench near Andrew's place pensively staring out into nowhere and smoking.

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"So. You want me to set you up with somebody? Because I could."

He really doesn't want Alec to cry. Really really wants to avoid it. In fact, he isn't even sure what to do with the cracking emotion in Alec's voice. At this point, he'll offer the kid something like setting him up on date just to spare any sort of emotional breakdown.

Alec looks up at him. "Set me up with some one? Like some... some... business deal or something?" He laughs shakily, a bit of hysteria now leaking into his voice.

"Would you pick someone out personally or have your assistant do it? I'm sure he'd love that one."

Idea not going down well...

"Don't be ridiculous," he snaps, having apparently officially reached the end of his rope when it came to comforting Alec. "It wouldn't be a business deal, as you so crassly put it. It would be me attempting to make your life slightly better by arranging for you to meet someone. But if you'd rather wallow in self-pity and self-doubt, well, by all means, be my guest."

"I am not wallowing, you .... just... just... fuckitall... just fuck it all... not worth it..." The explosion that was coming bursts into a soggy cry as Alec puts his head on his knees and arms over his head.

And there it was. The tears that Andrew hadn't wanted to see. He looked away, finding the display distasteful, hoping nobody in the park had noticed, though it wasn't the time of day most people would be out and about.

Unlike any other normal human being, he didn't pat Alec on the back, or offer soothing words. Instead, he lit a cigarette of his own, breathing as deep as possible, and shook his head. "Is it worth crying over?" He said 'crying' as though it was a profanity in it of itself.

They had about another hour before it got busy and Alec had enough sense to pick a seclude spot, if only because he didn't want to be bothered.

"I don't ... I ..." More soggy noises.

"Do you know how old I was the last time I cried, Alec?"

That probably doesn't require an answer. As though shaming Alec would do anything to stop his noisy sobs. However, Andrew was truly at a loss for anything else to say.

"Did you ever cry?" Alec asks, his voice full of nastiness. "Or were you always about as emotional as a brick?"

Andrew finally sits down on the bench next to Alec, though he doesn't touch him. "I used to cry," he said, frustrated that he even had to have this conversation. Talking about feelings, even feelings that were forty years old, were difficult. "I've never been overly emotional, no, but there was a time when even I cried."

The sheer fact that this conversation is happening is enough to stop Alec from crying from shock of it all. That and the fact that Andrew sat down next to him, which is pretty much the equivalent of sort of a hug.

"Yeah? What happened, sir?"

"My mother died when I was very young. When we were leaving Russia, I saw family members killed in front of me. After that..." He shrugs, unsure of why he's even telling Alec any of this in the first place. "I learned to save my tears for extremely important things."

"Have you had any extremely important things?" He sounds utterly mystified at the turn of this conversation.

He knew Andrew came from Russia, but this is really more personal information than he ever expected to get. Even after years of living with him, he never expected to learn about Andrew's family. It just Wasn't Talked About.

He shakes his head and chuckles slightly. "Not over anything involving relationships, or the lack thereof, no."

That doesn't exactly answer the question, but it's as far as he's willing to go, and that's obvious from the determined way he puts his cigarette back in his mouth and takes a long drag on it.

Alec pulls out another cigarette, the last one having gone to ashes, and lit it absently with a finger, mirroring Andrew's motions.

"Have you ever had a relationship?" Pause. "Sir?"

The question obviously takes him aback slightly, and he raises an eyebrow. "How would you define a relationship, Alec? We may be thinking of them in entirely different ways."

"Well, I mean... we have a relationship, obviously," That's what it is. A relationship. Not father and son, of course, never, but a relationship, "But I meant like a possibly romantic one."

He says 'possibly' because he has trouble imagining Andrew in a romantic relationship.

"Yes, I've had a romantic relationship. Several, in fact. I assume you generally mean a romantic relationship involves monogamy and a sense of... loyalty?"

He's not the greatest at all of that, but he's apparently done it before.

"Yeah. That."

His mind tries to wrap around this. It threatens to rebel and shut down. The image is kinda mind boggling.

"Perhaps I haven't had the most traditional of relationships -- certainly not now -- but I have dated, I have had women want to marry me, I have thought, fleetingly, that I might entertain the idea of marrying them. Of course, I never did."

Marriage appalls him to his very core.

"Is it better?" Alec asks. "Not bothering with it all?"

Yes. Turn him off of romance...

"Yes. It's better to enjoy yourself, to spend time doing the things you like, to focus on work and success, and occasionally spend time with people who you are attracted to and who have very little expectations that your interaction will proceed beyond something physical or entertaining."

Which is why he dates all of those dancers and models.

"And you're happy like this?"

Exactly.

Alec's currently hurt enough to think this is good advice.

"Happiness is relative, isn't it? I find myself productive in my job, and relatively comfortable in my life. That's enough."

Don't listen to your "father", Alec.

He fidgets a bit. "And nothing else matters?"

One of these days he's going to actually get around to asking if his "father" cares about him. But he's afraid of the answer. This is about as close as he's going to get currently.

That would be intelligent of him. However, it seems like it does work for Andrew, and look where Andrew is. Which is very attractive.

"I suppose there are other things that matter, at various times. Each person has their own priorities. Perhaps what makes me happy isn't what makes you happy."

That's as close as he'll ever get to admitting he cares about anyone, and it's so oblique that Alec probably will think he's simply prevaricating, and not answering the question straight on.

"What makes you happy, Alec?" Because he really is curious about that.